Suicide Prevention Day – 10th September 2024
Dana (pictured, with Annamarie Brant, Fundraising Manager) was 33, she was my girl, my ”Tink”; a sister, an incredible mommy, amazing businesswoman, outgoing, bubbly, quirky, hilarious, driven, dearly loved. She spoke 5 languages, she had taught English as a 2nd language, she had tutored French, she had a huge circle of friends and in all honesty, probably the last person you would have expected to leave this world in such a devastating and heartbreaking way. So, where are we a year on? Wow, that’s a hard question to answer because some days you feel you are ‘doing ok’ and other days you struggle to understand how you will make it through the day! It is tough, it is painful, and it is as heartbreaking and raw today as it was on that fateful day. There are no words to truly describe it. The words that follow barely scrape the surface.
The impact on the family is tangible. We all struggle; her immediate family, her children, her aunts, uncles, cousins, and her friends. We struggle daily, we hurt constantly, and we cry, sometimes, uncontrollably. Not to mention the physical impact on our health. I suffered a heart attack two weeks after losing Dana. The anxiety, PTSD, the physical pain, the grief brain fog, is all too real. Amid all this, we find the time to laugh; to remember and to cherish the incredible life we had together yet mourn the life we will not.
We strive to take each day head on, whatever that day brings. We strive to ensure her memory is not forgotten, especially in the minds of her 3 young children and we strive to be the enablers of her legacy. We are all committed to raising awareness of mental health and suicide.
We have done all ‘the firsts’; her birthday, the children’s birthday’s, our birthdays, Christmas, New Year, the first anniversary of her passing, the first anniversary of her funeral, all mixed into ‘trying to do life without her’, trying to find what the ‘new norm’ looks like and for me, a mother grieving her child, the fact that I’m still a mom! I have a son, a daughter, stepchildren, daughter-in-law’s, son-in-law and Grandchildren, and those natural paternal instincts to protect them from hurt do not go away, in fact it intensifies! Boy oh boy it is hard!
Our support network is key and vital to our everyday life. My “St Paul’s Family” have and continue to be an essential part of that support network. I honestly do not know how I would have coped without them and without access to Trauma Counselling and their on-going support and understanding. And of course, their friendship!
Raising awareness of suicide and indeed, Mental health are not always subjects that we are comfortable talking about. There has always been a hidden taboo about such topics. But it is important to talk about how we are feeling, share our thoughts with others, be that a friend, family or even a stranger! It is equally important for us to be there to listen, support and care. It takes strength to open up and show our vulnerabilities, but our vulnerabilities can be a source of strength for others. My vulnerability has been laid bare for all to see and it has not been pretty, nor easy to do.
St Paul’s Direct Access Counselling and Therapeutic Services are essential to our portfolio of service delivery. These services ensure our residents have immediate access to resources that can help them address and manage the trauma they have experienced and support them on their journey of recovery. These services also help our staff, for which I am profoundly grateful. These are the services we can only provide through grants and donations, without these funds being raised, we could not and cannot provide these life-changing and, in many cases, lifesaving interventions.
How could you help someone?
How does your workplace support mental health and what does it know about suicide prevention?
Ensuring staff have access to training is such an important part of raising awareness.
Be the listening ear, be that SafePlace for someone to feel able to talk but if you can be anything, be kind!